In my younger days I thought becoming successful required standing on others to get ahead, taking clients to dinner every night instead of spending time your kids and being so materially driven you couldn't see the forest through the window of your Jaguar.
Last week I did something that all 40-year-old women get to do…I got my first full mammogram. I say full mammogram because this time they took images of both boobs, unlike the first time when I was 34 and they just needed to check a suspicious lump on one side.
While some people seem to live without urgency to do anything in particular, I am forever plagued by the feeling that time is running out; time to explore and experience everything this good life has to offer, and time to do whatever amazing thing it is that I was put on the earth to do, my job with a capital J, if you will. I just don’t want this life to slip past without doing something important that is both the full expression of my creativity and the highest gift I can give to the world. A tall order to fill? Oh, yeah!
On a recent family vacation we found ourselves nestled into a lovely Air B&B in the beautiful city of Boulder, CO. Our little house perfectly accommodated our family of five, with three pretty bedrooms filled with natural light, a small kitchen with sleek modern updates and a patio where I sipped hot coffee on cool mountain mornings before anyone else woke up.
That we are instilled with a particular interest or desire is the work of the divine. It is how we know our purpose on the planet, whether these passions lead to paid work or a life well lived. Sometimes it feels like we might not survive our passions; those things that well up within us and must be done no matter what. With the many options and obstacles in this world, how are we supposed to embark on a path that is difficult to see clearly?
It's just after the new year and this week I noticed myself falling into a total funk. I started feeling like all the things I really want to do with my life require far more time and bandwidth than I currently have while working full time and parenting.